This Job Changed Me: Lessons in Compassion From the Therapy Room
Before I stepped into my first therapy room, I thought I understood what working with kids would be like. I had no idea how deeply this job would shape me, not just as a professional, but as a person. I thought I was signing up for a job. I didn’t know I was stepping into something that would transform me from the inside out.
Becoming an RBT has been one of the most rewarding and challenging experiences of my life. I’ve always had a heart for helping children, but working in the field of ABA gave me a whole new perspective on what it means to truly support individuals with autism and developmental disabilities. The training gave me the tools and knowledge to do the work, but nothing fully prepared me for the emotional and mental demands, especially when facing difficult behaviors. I’ve worked with clients who displayed aggression, self-injury, property destruction, and intense emotional dysregulation. Those moments were hard. Some days, I left sessions emotionally drained, questioning whether I had done enough.
Hi! I’m Emma Carney, a student at St. Cloud Technical & Community College studying Early Childhood Education. I’ve always been passionate about working with children, especially those with developmental disabilities. That passion led me to become a Registered Behavior Technician, where I’ve learned the power of patience, empathy, and connection. With no prior knowledge of the field, it has taught me lessons I never would have learned. Every child I’ve worked with has taught me something valuable and shaped the person I’m becoming. Now, I’m continuing my education with the goal of becoming a Behavior Analyst. My mission is to support children and families by creating inclusive environments where every child has the opportunity to thrive.
What surprised me most wasn’t just the behaviors I witnessed—it was how personally triggering some situations were. There were times I saw myself in the kids I worked with: the frustration, the shutdowns, the overwhelm. It brought up parts of my own story that I hadn’t fully processed.
But instead of pushing those feelings away, I used them. They made me more compassionate. More patient. More intentional. They helped me show up with kindness, even on the hardest days.
“There were times I saw myself in the kids…it brought up parts of my own story that I hadn’t fully processed.”
Power in Patience
One of the most unforgettable experiences I’ve had was working with a non-verbal child who often expressed themselves through aggression—biting, hitting, and other challenging behaviors. Understandably, some people were timid around them. But what they really needed was patience, consistency, and kindness. Over time, with intervention and communication support, I watched them become less aggressive and more able to express their needs in safer ways. There were still hard days, but the progress was real. That transformation reminded me why this work matters so much.
Quiet Victories
Another client I’ll never forget was a child who engaged in some of the most intense behaviors I had ever seen: severe aggression, self-injury, and frequent property destruction. Sessions could be unpredictable and emotionally exhausting. I remember sitting in my car after work some days, completely silent, trying to process what had just happened. Over time, the episodes became slightly less frequent. They began to reach out for help instead of hurting themselves. Those moments were quiet victories—but they were victories nonetheless. That child taught me that progress isn’t always visible on the surface. Sometimes it’s fewer bruises. A smoother transition. A moment of calm. And those moments matter.
Strength in Self-Care
This job has stretched me—mentally, emotionally, even spiritually. But it’s also taught me how to take care of myself in ways I never had before. I realized early on that to be fully present for my clients, I had to take care of myself, too. That meant learning to set boundaries, reflect on my emotional responses, and reach out for support when I needed it.
“Burnout is real in this field. Acknowledging that doesn’t make you weak - it makes you honest.”
Burnout is real in this field. Acknowledging that doesn’t make you weak—it makes you honest. The stronger I became in caring for myself, the more I was able to show up fully for the children and families I worked with.
Connection, Trust, and Safety
“When children feel seen, safe, and soothed, they develop secure relationships—and it’s from that secure base that they can explore the world, trust others, and thrive.”
The biggest lesson I’ve learned? Connection is everything.
All the behavior plans, strategies, and interventions in the world mean little without trust. So much of this work is built on earning trust, protecting it, and building it one interaction at a time. No behavior plan works without emotional safety. Before we can expect children to change or grow, we have to help them feel safe—emotionally, physically, and relationally. That safety starts with us.
The Ongoing Impact
Being an RBT has challenged me in ways I never expected—but it’s also shown me the beauty in progress, no matter how small. It’s taught me that patience is a skill, not just a personality trait. That real change takes time, intention, and unconditional support. Every child I’ve worked with has changed me. They've shown me resilience, honesty, and the rawest forms of communication—and for that, I’m forever grateful.
If you’re an RBT reading this and feeling overwhelmed, please know: you are not alone.
It’s okay to struggle—and it’s okay to grow. That emotional weight you’re carrying is proof that you care. And caring deeply isn’t a flaw—it’s a strength. A beautiful one.
It’s okay to feel triggered. It’s okay to grow through it all.
This work is hard, and that’s exactly why it matters. Give yourself grace. Celebrate the small wins. And remember: your compassion matters more than you know.
Hold Onto the Lessons
This isn’t just a job. It’s a calling—one that will stretch you, change you, and shape you in ways you never imagined. No matter where this journey takes me—or you—I know the lessons we’ve learned here will stay with us for life.
So if this work has shaped you too, hold onto those lessons.
They’re the real reason we do what we do.
A Note to Readers:
Are you an RBT with a story to share? Your voice matters - and your experience could inspire, encourage, or empower someone else on their journey. I’d love to hear from you! Use the contact form below to get in touch.
*Disclaimer: The views expressed in this blog are my own (Functionally Speaking ABA) and do not reflect the views of UNMC.
